


Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)

by dumpsterdiva



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Transgirl!Pidge, and lance comforting the shit out of him aw yeah, because OH BOY do i love insecure!keith, brief allusions to PTSD, insecure!keith, tbh this is mostly fluff im sry i tried to be angsty, teen rating for da language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 16:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8497345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumpsterdiva/pseuds/dumpsterdiva
Summary: The return of Matt and Sam Holt reminds Keith that he has his own family now too, but he's v bad about expressing himself. ANGST ENSUES (but not really because this fic is ridiculous) Lance comes to the rescue with some snuggles. This is the worst summary I've ever written.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I’m writing a fic for The Primary Paladin Big Bang that features this song, so I thought I’d take a break and write another fic (LOL???) I still have my other ongoing fic and five other fic ideas so like idk wtf I’m doing with my life. Also I have to work?? For my actual job?? Anyways, enjoy this silly, short drabble feat. insecure!keith (OH BOI GOOD SHIT) it's basically crackfic pls ignore me

They’d finally found them.

After nearly a year of searching galaxy after galaxy, they had found Sam and Matt Holt.

They were extremely malnourished and scarred from the labor camps, but overall there had been minimal permanent lasting damage. Still, when Pidge looked at the way Matt’s delicate and careful hands had become calloused and cracked or watched her father struggle to stand up tall and proud like he used to, her heart broke. Their physical scars might fade away with the help of the healing pods and with time, but she worried that their emotional ones would never leave them.

Watching over their exhausted faces in the healing pods, she pressed a hand to Matt’s pod and whispered, “You’re safe now.” She lingered for a moment more before curling up between their pods and falling asleep.

* * *

“Do you think we should bring her a blanket?" 

Shiro looked to Hunk and nodded. “That’s a good idea. We shouldn’t move her for now. She needs this.”

Hunk gave a small salute and ran towards their rooms. “Be right back,” he called.

Shiro turned to the rest of the team who was still peering at Pidge fast asleep between the pods.

Allura cradled her face in her hand with worry. “Oh, I do wish there was more we could do for her. I know that Pidge must be so relieved to have them back in one piece, but she’ll be a nervous wreck until they come out of the healing pods.”

Running his fingers through his hair, Lance chimed in, “I can bring her meals and stuff. Knowing Pidge, she won’t even want to leave to go to the bathroom until they come out of there.”

Shiro patted Lance on the shoulder. “That’d be great, Lance. Try to remind her to shower once in a while too.” They all laughed lightly at that, but their hearts weren’t in it. They were too worried about Pidge.

Coran stroked his mustache thoughtfully. “The best thing we can do in this situation is give her the space and the time she needs to heal with her family. They’ll have a lot to sort through together.”

Allura sighed. “I know, but I can’t help but feel powerless. Simply taking Samuel and Matthew Holt away from the Galra does not save them from their grasp, not entirely. They still have a long, difficult journey ahead of them. I just hope Pidge knows we’ll be there for her if she needs us.”

Shiro stared into the healing chamber, expression unreadable. Finally, he said, “I think I might stay here with Pidge tonight. I—she’s not the only one who’s been waiting to see Sam and Matt.” He blinked back a few tears.

The others nodded quietly and Shiro smiled at them gratefully. They watched him with concerned expressions as he walked into the room cradling his Galra tech arm. All of them understood that Shiro was the best option to keep Pidge company. He knew better than anyone the pain the Galra could inflict on others, both physically and mentally. Still, they didn’t like watching their friend relive painful memories.

Keith, who had been silent this whole time, finally said, “We better get some sleep while we can. We need to be alert and able to form Voltron in case the Galra try to chase after us again.”

Allura looked at Keith curiously, but instead of questioning him, she simply remarked, “You’re right Keith. Maybe we will all feel better after some rest.” She and Coran turned away from the healing chamber and walked back to their chambers.

Keith was about to walk away too when Lance grabbed his arm and gave him an incredulous stare. “Really? That’s all you have to say after all this?”

“What’s it to you?"

“Keith. Don’t be like this. Not now.”

Lance’s eyes bore into Keith’s, but Keith only turned away from the other boy. Lance sighed. “Forget it. I’m going to find Hunk and get another blanket for Shiro.”

Lance let his eyes linger on Keith for just a moment more before letting go of his arm and sauntering away, leaving Keith standing alone in the hallway.

* * *

The sounds of his footsteps echoed against the castle walls as Lance made his way back to his room. He and Hunk had already dropped off the blankets for Pidge and Shiro, but Hunk couldn’t leave them alone. He had gone to the kitchen to get them glasses of water and make them a midnight snack in case they woke up in the middle of the night. Lance shook his head. Hunk really was too good for all of them.

Lance had meant to go straight back to his room, but he found his feet carrying him towards the control room. He had a tendency to go there when he was feeling particularly homesick and watching Pidge and her family reunite had been a painful reminder of just how much he missed home. When the doors to the control room slid open, he was surprised to find it already occupied.

Lance walked up to the hunched figure and asked, “What happened to getting some sleep?”

Keith grunted in response and brought his legs closer to his chest.

Lance sprawled out next to Keith and leaned into the other boy’s shoulder. In any other situation, Lance wouldn’t have been so quick to take comfort in Keith’s presence, but after fighting side by side for a year, he knew that Keith would let it slide given the circumstances. He was proven right when Keith leaned back into him.

Propping his head on top of Lance’s, Keith said, “I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have said those things.”

Lance shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. But seriously, what’s been bugging you?” He nuzzled his face deeper into Keith’s shoulder. “You can’t hide it from us. It wasn’t just at the healing chamber. You’ve been unusually quiet and moody all day, even for you. So fess up.” He knocked his knee into Keith’s.

Keith shuffled uncomfortably. “It’s not a big deal. I’m being stupid.”

Lance tugged lightly at a loose strand of Keith’s hair. “Oh shut up. Don’t give me your ‘no one understands me’ spiel. Out with it, asshole.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “You’re terrible at pep talks.” Lance stuck out his tongue and Keith chuckled softly before his expression turned serious again. “Do you remember the day Sendak attacked the castle?”

Lance teased, “You mean the day that I nearly got blown up? No, actually, I don’t remember most of that night because _I was in a coma_.”

Keith elbowed Lance’s side. “Yeah, I know. You don’t even remember our bonding moment,” he grumbled. “But I’m talking about before the explosion. You weren’t there but Pidge told us she was going to leave to search for her family. At the time, I was just so angry with her. How could she sacrifice the entire fate of the universe for two people? It just didn’t make any sense to me. And then Hunk started talking about leaving to go back home to his family and I got even more upset. Honestly, if that attack hadn’t happened, who knows if we would all still be a team.”

Keith paused to take a breath and Lance linked their hands together in a silent bid for Keith to continue. After a moment, he did.

“I didn’t understand what Pidge was going through. Or Hunk. Or you. Or even Shiro. There was no one I left behind back on Earth. There was no one who would miss me if I was gone or wonder if I was dead. I was alone on Earth, but I’m not anymore.” At that, he turned his face towards Lance, eyes gleaming. “I never had anyone to teach me what real familial love even felt like. And now, after all this time, I think I finally understand what it’s like to be willing to give up the whole universe to save the few people that matter most to me. Watching Pidge and her family reunite, I realized that if any of you had been under the Galra’s control for years and I had even the slimmest chance of finding you, I don’t think I could’ve kept it together. I would’ve tried to do the same thing Pidge did all those months ago.”

Lance eyes searched Keith’s for a moment before whispering, “So, why is that bothering you so much?" 

Keith pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “It’s just—I don’t know how I can apologize to Pidge for the things I said to her back then. I was so stupid to think I even had an inkling of what she was feeling. To think my stupid logic would help her through the pain of losing the people she cared about. It was so long ago and maybe it’s awkward to bring it up, but I’m really new to this whole family thing. Hell, I’m new to the whole friend thing too. I can’t express my emotions like the rest of you can, especially you.” Keith laughed bitterly at that. “And the more I look back on our time together, the more I realize that I have been absolute shit at being a member of this family. At least when Pidge was impulsively running off, it was for good reason. I’m impulsive at the worst times. I run off at every possible moment with zero regard for the plan or anyone else. I get into needless fights whenever someone aggravates me even just a little. I put all of you in danger with my recklessness. What kind of family does that? If something happened to you all because of my stupidity, I don’t think I could ever forgive myself.” Keith curled up further into Lance’s side.

Lance waited a few seconds to make sure Keith had finished before saying, “Keith, you might be a piece of shit sometimes, but you’re not a shitty family member. Trust me. I know shitty family.”

Keith snorted. “Your family’s great Lance. You never shut up about them.”

Lance shook his head. “Even I have my weird, estranged homophobic uncle and my crack addict cousin that left her baby with my sister. You’re nothing compared to that.” Lance let his fingers run through Keith’s hair soothingly. 

Keith hummed in approval and let Lance continue the motions for a few minutes before asking in barely a whisper, “Lance, do you think my parents thought I didn’t deserve one? A family, I mean.”

Lance’s grip on Keith’s hair tightened, but he ignored Keith’s protests and instead said through gritted teeth, “Keith. If you ever say that again, I will personally eject you out the airlock.” Taking Keith’s face in his hands, he said slowly, “Everyone in the universe deserves a family. Sometimes they are born with one and sometimes they find it along the way, but _everyone_ deserves to have at least one person to call family. And you… I don’t know anyone who deserves a family more than you. Keith, you fight tooth and nail for us every day. You do what you do because you care. You care so much and so deeply. So what if you can’t express your feelings in words? You show it through all your little actions. In the way that you patiently practice sparring with Hunk so you don’t worry about him in battle or in the way you rush in to protect Shiro in a fight because you know he still has nightmares about the Galra. Even if you don’t say it, we know you—“ Lance’s words caught in his throat. He moved away from Keith, face flushed pink. “We know how you feel.”

Keith blinked in surprised and his eyes wandered to Lance’s reddened ears. He scooched closer to Lance and murmured, “Lance, tell me. How do I feel?” Lance’s ears grew redder at that and he mumbled something indistinguishable. Keith leaned in closer. “What was that?”

Lance’s head shot up and he blurted out, “We know you love us, you dumbass! Are you happy now?” Lance huffed and turned away from Keith.

Keith smirked and said, “Now was that so hard? And I thought you were good at expressing yourself.” Keith started to get up, feeling a bit better after talking to Lance, but a tight grip on his t-shirt stopped him.

Lance’s voice trembled as he said, “We love you too, Keith.” It was Keith’s turn to blush as Lance continued, “We might not tell you—or rather I might not tell you—this all the time, but it’s true. And you deserve every bit of love we give you and so much more. Even if you don’t always love yourself, we love you just the way you are. You’re more than family. You’re—“ Lance’s voice trailed off. He had said the last part without thinking and wasn’t sure what he had wanted to say.

Keith turned his face so he could look Lance in the eyes. The tenderness of Lance’s expression convinced Keith to press him further. “I’m?” 

Lance scrunched up his face and grumbled, “This is getting old Keith.”

Keith whispered, “Then you should really learn to either think before you speak or complete your sentences.” Lance shoved him gently, but Keith didn’t budge. “So, tell me. I’m what?”

Lance’s eyes flitted about nervously and Keith was about to tease him again before Lance’s lips suddenly crashed into his. Keith’s eyes initially widened in shock, but the gentle push of Lance’s tongue against his lips made them flutter shut. He wound his arms around Lance’s neck and pulled himself deeper into the kiss. Lance’s fingers tangled themselves into Keith’s hair, tugging his head backwards to gain better access to his eager mouth. Lance nipped lightly on Keith’s bottom lip, releasing a soft whimper that Keith didn’t realize he was capable of making. Lance shuddered and moaned Keith’s name into his mouth. Keith felt himself being pulled into Lance’s lap and, like an asteroid being drawn into a planet’s gravity, he let himself crash and burn into Lance's arms.

Eventually, their kiss turned into long and languid pecks. Keith would have been content to do this all night if Lance didn’t pull back and did what he did best. He started to ramble.

“You’re the first person I want to see when we get back from missions. You’re funny sometimes even if I hate to admit it. You’re the one who makes stomach flip in circles. You’re so talented and it makes me so mad and so proud. You’re braver than anyone I know. You’re the person I trust to always have my back. You’re adorable when you’re focusing on something. You’re so easy to tease and goad into doing stupid shit with me. You’re amazing. You’re wonderful. You’re beautiful. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” Lance took Keith’s face into his hands again as he said those final words. Keith was blushing harder than he ever had in his life.

“You’re an idiot,” he muttered.

Lance snorted. “I answer your question and that’s all you have to say?” 

“Fuckwad.”

Lance pecked him on the lips. “Mmhm.” 

“Moron.”

Lance traced his lips down Keith’s neck. “I know.”

“Asswipe.”

“Keith.”

“Shithead.”

“I love you.”

Keith covered his face with both his hands in an effort to hide his blush, which only encouraged Lance to kiss him more.

“Lance, this is so unfair.”

“C’mon, Keith. Isn't there something you want to say to me?” Lance waggled his eyebrows mischievously.

Keith frowned. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”

“Payback’s a bitch, Keith. And I love it. And I loooooove you.”

“Shut up!”

“I” 

“Lance!”

“LOOOOOO—“ Keith brought Lance’s face up to his and kissed him hard.

Pulling away, he shouted, “FOR FUCK’S SAKE I LOVE YOU TOO!”

Lance grinned. “Now was that so hard?” Keith pouted and looked away. Lance’s cheeks puffed out with a stifled laugh.

“You’re too cute,” he said as he dissolved into giggles.

Keith grumbled, “I hate you.” Lance only kissed his nose in response.

As they continued to insult and kiss each other late into the night, Keith realized that it wouldn't matter how much practice he got at expressing his emotions. He’d still never be able to fully show Lance how much he loved him, whether through words or actions.

**Author's Note:**

> Hehehehehehehehehehe these boys are too much. Who asked them to be such adorable idiots? It's criminal.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Your kudos and comments give me life <333


End file.
